I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
