Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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