Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
