i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
