If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
