how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
40s are totally the cure
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
