he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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