Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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