hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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