Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
