i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize