i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
