just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
