the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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