so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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