The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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