Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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