I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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