My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
