Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
