Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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