Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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