8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
