I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
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You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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