So drunk its hurt
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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