now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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