Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
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My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress