Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
