I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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