And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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