i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
