Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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