I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
