Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
