i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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