He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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