Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
