Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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