If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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