id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
