I hate all girls vehemently.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
