Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
