Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
