Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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