So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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