I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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