i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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