I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just threw up on my dentist
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize