Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
