they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize