dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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