I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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