It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am mentally ready for anal.
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