do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
