BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We had to coat check the pizza.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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