i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
