hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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