i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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