Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
NoShamevember. You game?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
