there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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